FAIL.

Quick, a new challenger has entered the ring. Let's see what he has to say.

I'll abridge the boring bits. All messages taken verbatim from Match.com's anonymous (thank god) email service. Just to bring you up to speed, his e-mail subject was "your stunning", and I'd just asked politely if he'd got anything exciting planned for the next couple of days. Here we go, starting with his reply:
cool not really my last day off work so chill out and relax i think what about u x

I said:
I am going to go and see the Spirit I think; I quite like Frank Miller, although this'll be his first film as a director :)

He said:
i know it looks like a good film im not sure if great actors make great films!!! cos clint eastwood tried it and failed badly ull have 2 tell me what its like xxx

I said (after shedding a couple of tears of woe):
Frank Miller's a comic book writer, not an actor :) He wrote the comics Sin City and 300 were based on, did you see those? Very good. And Clint Eastwood's won more Oscars as a director than as an actor :)

He said:
im still drunk lol :( x 300 is an amazing film x trust me 2 pick a film guru to talk about films with lol x what else do u enjoy doing xxx

Oh god, readers, what shall I say? What shall I say?!! The temptation is almost overwhelming. Niche market fetish model? Amateur human taxidermist? Specialist naked chubby tap dance service operator? Assassin?