And another thing, while we're being positive.

Good things about being fat (number 1 in an ongoing series):

You look younger than you are, so all the boys in their early twenties are after you. Hooray for energetic - it's Mother Nature's way of sorting things out because the OTHER thing that fat girls often have is more testosterone and thus...higher sex drives...oh dear. For those that know me, just...try not to picture that.

For all the young men currently beating my door down, form a queue please. I'll be with you shortly.

All together now: going to hell, going to hell, going to hell, la la la, going to hell. [Insert guilty face here, but not too guilty. Muahaha.]



As a final note, for anyone now beginning to have worries:
1. I spent the last five or six years working in sexual health. I'm the last person anyone needs to worry about.
2. I still tell my mum and my best mate, both women who would quite cheerfully hunt you down and eat your liver if you upset me, where I'm going, what his name is, what his phone number is, and when I'm going to be home (A, I'll text in a bit, haha).