Hrm.

God...I just read my last post back and you know...I'm not a meanie. I'm not some heartless horrible girl. That's precisely why I'm not going to see him this weekend; it seems I've got the wrong idea about what we're both bringing to the table here and maybe I'm older and can separate the love and the sex out better but I just don't want to break any hearts. I've always said that at thirty years old, I've never broken any hearts - and perhaps for some people that'd be a mark of failure but for me I'd rather keep it that way. I don't want anyone getting hurt, fucked over, or to go into something expecting one thing and getting another.

I know it's traditional to just expect the guy to be happy he's getting some, but you know...he's a lot younger than me. I think I'd feel I was taking advantage or being dishonest if I slept with him, suspecting that he might be...oh I don't know. Perhaps I've overreacted but you know what, it feels like the right thing to do. There's no need to rush anyway and I refuse to be held hostage by a day of the week. I'd rather overreact and be accused of being a dumbass than really, genuinely hurt someone. I'll be sticking to my guns.

He's gone very quiet, incidentally. I think I've done the right thing.