Arrrrrgggggggggggggghhhhhhhh

So. Next Saturday is the day guaranteed to strike fear into every singleton's heart. Fucking Valentine's Day. Gah. Quick! Find a date! Fall in love! Feel successful! So, to avoid all festivities I've made sure I'm working both Friday AND Saturday nights reviewing, and hopefully that will ensure I'm too busy all weekend writing to have to bother with it. Except of course...the much-too-young-and-now-with-increased-enthusiasm-boy from Thursday night is making a full on steamrollering attempt. I was momentarily caught unawares, as he just casually goes, so what time does your band finish Friday night? He'd already sent some rather frisky messages this morning so I wasn't really reading much into things - other than I might finally be about to get some - when he says, I think I'm going to nab a hotel room Friday night young lady. Sound good? Well yes, yes it does. Finally! Except THEN he goes....yeah I'll bring my laptop so you can write your article and then we can spend the day together...

[insert pause here]

I say, um, what? Since when did the third-date shag turn into let's spend the weekend together? (I didn't say that part out loud, at this point.)

He goes, yes, it's Valentine's Day isn't it - we can spend the day together it'll be lovely!

I say, um, I have to write an article and get it into the magazine and then I have another night out reviewing on Saturday, deliberately arranged so I can AVOID VALENTINE'S DAY. And hi...you're twenty four years old. If you're doing it right I'll need to go home to my bed and some PAINKILLERS during the daytime on Saturday.

Anyway the long and the short of it is I just said...ya know what? I'll see you the week after next. This is putting way too much pressure and expectation on things. I thought we were having a nice casual fun thing, possibly about to involve some lovely filthy happy sex, but um....apparently not. Time to start phasing this one out I think.

I probably sound contradictory. The thing is...I'm dating at the moment. I am looking for a partner, eventually, but I'm in no rush. I value being left alone when I say, leave me alone. I was enjoying having a lighthearted, casual fling with someone who I find attractive who finds ME attractive and to be honest I thought we were both just scratching each other's itch. I've made it quite clear that I'm nobody's girlfriend. I'm not being exclusive because there's nothing to be exclusive about; for the most part I don't have sex, or even end up in bed with the men I date, and to be honest that usually suits me pretty well. I'm in no hurry. I think what I'm most cross about is using the date as some kind of tool to kind of...ensure something. It's a very, oh I don't know. I'm just infuriated.

Anyway I think I've made myself very clear; I just said, look. Valentine's Day is all very nice for couples; it's a cute little marker of something that should permeate every day of the relationship anyway. But for single people, it's nothing. It's a celebration of love. Don't get things mixed up.