The Sunday roundup

Right then. Here is a roundup of my last 24 hours and the adventures contained therein.

1. As you know I joined the Guardian website and initially scorned it. However apparently there are some non-snobby fatty lovers on there after all as I have received several e-mails from three different men who can all make complete sentences and by all accounts seem quite pleasant. So that's exciting isn't it? I'm still rather unconvinced by their "match" facility though, it seems very cockeyed.

2. Speaking of Match...good god. Yes, they have 4.6 million single people on there. Yes, they do. And do you know why there are fucking millions on there? Because that's where all the mouth-breathing illiterates go to find a mate and SPAWN. Christ on a bike. I was goaded into taking the 7 day free trial yesterday after a sudden flurry of interest. One of my potential suitors asked me the same question four times via e-mail until eventually I just told him to re-read the thread and try and make sense of the little symbols. Those are letters, they make up words. *headdesk* I know I sound a bit harsh but for fuck's sake.

3. No more from the guy who sent me a video of himself jacking off. I think my pointed silence has made things fairly clear. Whew.

4. Lovely, lovely J...very quiet, and then a really strange text message last night has left me a bit...well I don't know. I am going to see how things pan out this week and if I have time I am going to suggest meeting for lunch. If that doesn't happen then I guess that's that. It's a shame but I'm not getting back on that ride I'm afraid.

5. The magician has asked me to go out on Saturday. I have said yes. He makes me laugh a lot. We'll see. I mean in theory everything's against it; he's [mumble] substantially older than me, our lifestyles are completely different...oh believe me. There's plenty. But at the same time, oh I don't know. Let's see. Let's just wait, and see.