So, as I gallop towards the end of the year still having failed to
Alrighty then. And we're off.
First of all, nothing from the magician. I guess it's easier to feign a throat infection than it is to feign interest.
Lovely sweet depressed J has made a reappearance, and is still lovely, sweet and depressed. Sadly, he's also completely useless, as on Christmas Eve I actually said to him what are we doing and why aren't we going for a drink and making each other laugh, and he didn't reply until today, when I got a lame excuse that his phone hadn't been working the entire time he was in Leeds visiting his mother for Christmas. I mean we all know that Leeds is the land that time forgot, but last time I checked they did have electricity. He is lovely though. And makes me laugh. Out of the small army of menfolk I appear to have attracted he's one of the few that I actually fancy. I get thumpy excited when I hear from him. Most of the others, I just block the calls.
The oldest punk in town, who I went out with last week, is still in touch and despite the complete lack of chemistry which we've both acknowledged seems to be a very nice fella and we'll probably end up going for a drink or two.
Okay and now brace yourselves for a positively bewildering array of gentlemen, some of whom are in with a chance and others who are...not.
First, from the Guardian website:
E, who is very funny, has a squishy face, makes up lots of things he thinks he knows about me (although I suspect this is for comedy effect). Lives reasonably close, has a good job, seems very pleasant although not my normal type. Has five children which I am slightly taken aback by; is nine years older than me. Has asked me out about five times now but we keep not setting a date.
O, who again is not my usual type but seems very pleasant. Two years younger than me, seems rather clean cut and tidy. Has asked me if I will go to a gallery and for a coffee with him next Friday; I've said yes on the premise that he seems quite clever and has a Wizard of Oz fixation like me. I am aware that this potentially means he's gay. It's okay.
P, who is Italian but lives quite close to me. Has asked if we can go for a drink; I explained I don't, so he's amended that to coffee. I can go with that. Is currently in Italy for Christmas and new year. Rather attractive, but slightly odd facial hair.
L, who is quite amazingly geeky and into a lot of the same music as me. Has asked if I'll go out with him, seems pleasant enough but reminds me quite a lot of my ex - not physically, just in how he rattles on about things and how he seems rather proud of his geekiness. I fear he could get annoying quite fast, but we'll see.
From the fat lady website:
N, who is from Glasgow, very attractive, very funny. Rather a long way away. Currently involved in trying to lure me there for the new year, or for the weekend at least. I am, as usual, strong in the face of persuasion, although if he was a bit closer I'd have been on him like a wet flannel by now. Haha. Despite being the furthest away has been the most normal in his tactics. We like him. Gah.
D, who is quite random and appeared from nowhere and just sent me a huge long email about horror films and the Hold Steady. If I hadn't now seen photos I'd have been spooked that he was someone I already know, but he's not I don't think. Also lives quite a long way away. Makes me laugh however.
JB, who is *wince* 23 but clinging on like a barnacle. Very sweet but much too young; appears to be rather hopeful. I have both eyebrows raised quite high at this.
Scary masturbating guy - had a brief reprieve just before Christmas when he sent me a very apologetic text saying sorry for sending me videos of himself masturbating. Like an idiot I was gracious in the face of cock, which unfortunately prompted him to carry straight on with his old tactics. In the end, after he plagued me mercilessly all day on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, I cracked with his final demand for phone sex and told him to fuck off, actually using those actual words. Sadly I couldn't make it any more festive. He wasn't listening.
Finally, from Match:
Ch1, who lives literally round the corner from me and who is more or less incoherent, although he seems to be well intentioned. Well intentioned, but scarily backward. I am a bit nervous about that one and won't be meeting him. Ever.
C, who is pleasant enough but...I just don't fancy him. I don't. I can't help it :( He's also the one who seems to think I secretly just want to be looked after and you know what...I don't.
Ch2, who I was foolish enough to allow to have my mobile number and who now won't stop calling me. I've actually blocked his calls and today explained that I wasn't feeling well and no, I didn't want to chat. He still called me four times though and keeps saying "he doesn't give up on people that easily". I've explained it's more a case of me wanting to be left alone but he doesn't seem to be listening. I don't fancy him in the slightest, either, but apparently because he owns his own company and makes good money, I should do. It doesn't do it for me. I think that's what put the magician off too - I'm just not impressed with your money. Anyway so he's driving me slightly mad.
M, who is also *whisper* 23, lives locally and is apparently jonesing for some slightly older fatgirl action. It's a bit scary. He's very cute indeed. I am not going down that road. Must...not...touch...the youngsters.
There are a couple, okay a few, others but...they're not actual prospects I have to say. These are the ones who have sent more than one email or message, and who in some cases have sent so many I've considered calling the police. Hahaha.
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