I've been quiet, but with very, very good reason.

As those close will know, and those who read between the lines will have guessed, it seems that - temporarily at least - the search can be called off. I've met someone a little bit special and just for now I'm interested in seeing where that leads us both. You know what they say about Napoleon Dynamite...flippin' sweet. :)

It's a nice, and interesting change. There is no craziness here, just calm and content and a feeling of steadiness and gentle excitement and just...happiness. It's really early days; we've been dating for about five weeks or so. I daresay there are a few little obstacles we need to navigate together. But we went to the cinema on Saturday and the production team of the film we were watching were there, handing out questionnaires for the audience to fill in. I was leaning over his shoulder to compare answers, and there was a question I'd not got to yet:

Who did you come to the cinema with today?

1. Alone
2. With friends
3. With spouse
4. With work colleagues
5. On a date
6. Boy/girlfriend

...he ticked number 6, so I guess that's where we are for now. I will still update; perhaps I'll change the tagline, but for now let's all hold our breath and see what the next few weeks bring!

Thank you for reading. Hold steady. X

Today

Today my dears I have hidden my public profile on Match, removed it from the Guardian, and cancelled on the fat girl website. If I want to reactivate Match I just flip a switch and the others...well, I only really attracted crazy people haha.

Yesterday I got a sheepish email from the Iranian boy; saying he'd lost his phone, blah blah. I sent a short sharp one back saying, oh really? And it took you a week to let me know? Nah. I think not mate....and truth be told, I am not bothered in the slightest.

Let's see what happens next.

Ha hahaa!

I just crept in (yes, it's 3am...oops) and looked at myself in the mirror in the bathroom. Oh my. So THAT'S what you look like when you make out for so long in the car after the fancy pants record label do that the beard rash has started before you've even got home. Um. I'll, uh, be over here....putting moisturiser on.

I like your sleeves.

Have you ever been kissed by someone and had your whole body respond and not be able to navigate the car successfully afterwards because you're actually dizzy?

You know...there's a lot to be said for the quiet ones.

:)

......*AND*

I hated the Cocteau Twins.

I LIKED MINOR THREAT okay thanks that's all.

Incidentally

Is it wrong of me to want to put all the names of the girls he was fucking simultaneously up online just so they can see what a cunt he is? Because, you see, he's such a fucker he'll have gone back to the same pool of women and will be sleeping, probably, with all of them. All his exes. That's his pattern.

The midweek rant

Okay so first of all, a status update:

1. The Thoroughly Lovely Man from Saturday is actually a slacktacular not-bothering-to-call-to-cancel jerk who I shan't be seeing again after last night's fiasco (basically didn't bother to let me know until 10pm - by which time I'd guessed - that he wasn't coming. Then had the cheek to ask me if we could do something at the weekend, which I've just flat turned down.).

2. The Iranian Much-Too-Young-For-Me-Boy has, I suspect, found someone younger and local. This suits me quite well actually because

3. I rather like Napoleon Dynamite. He's very sweet and we're going to the cinema after work tonight and I'm quite excited to see him.

In other news, I just caught a glimpse of the Cocteau Twins on HypeMusic and you know...it occurs to me that I just didn't register when we were together what an egotistical, boring twat the Heart-Trampler was. I was so in awe that I really didn't notice the fact that we never actually talked about me, just about How Hardcore Andrew's Life Had Been and How He'd Coped Admirably With All His Challenges and How He'd Got Into Music And Knew More Than Everyone Else and just...oh FUCK OFF MATE. Honestly I kind of want to bludgeon him with his stupid record decks. I am SO BORED of these stupid boys with fucking issues, the big fat issues, just MY GOD GET THEM SORTED OUT. I am not interested. I want someone who does not need fixing. Just once. Just this once I want someone for me. And, rather aside from the point....I think it's fair to say I'm over Heart-Trampling, Heartbreaking, Self-Obsessed, Actually Quite Boring, Andrew. And his STUPID FEET.

Okay thanks. I just needed to get that out. Liz Fraser inspired RAGE in me this morning...haha. (Cocteau Twins...oh my god, if i heard ONCE how he heard them on John Peel on his radio in the wild northern wastes of Shetland and it changed his life, I heard it a THOUSAND FUCKING TIMES well hello matey there were thousands of us who had that happen and some of us actually let it change our lives rather than sit there and fucking whinge on about it. Jesus wept.)